fake it untill you feel it.

Last couple of week have been hard for me, my body & age issues have come to the surface a lot, I have no idea if they coincide with the fact my runs have been so bad or finding out I am losing my job at the end of the summer.
In short I have felt not very attractive or sexy for a while now. But since this blog is manly for my own personal growth I have decided to share when thing are not so great as well.
Don't get me wrong I love being in my forties, but sometimes I feel like ''who am I kidding with this pink hair?'' and this becomes more apparent as I start looking for work. I have gotten to a point where I feel I am too old to compromise when it comes to things I feel strongly about, like working weekends, I won't.
 I cherish this time with my husband, dogs and family, it's my reason for being.without it I have no quality of life.
I am not looking for a career, I have my dog bakery business, I am looking for steady, interesting 9-5 part-time work. Sounds easy?
Funny, not a lot of people want to employ a tattooed 40 years old with 20 years experience.

But enough about my job search, what the hell is wrong with me?
I have an amazing husband, stepson, mom. My dogs are healthy, so is my family. I live surrounded by the things and people I love, so why can't I feel good about myself? I am the healthiest I have ever been, the most mentally stable.
I have no idea, but for now, I will slap on some make up, throw on some clothes and put one foot in front of the other.
I will fake till I feel it.