My killer glasses and matching spiked Michel Kors gloves I bought in Atlanta added to this.
I had been feeling pretty poopy as of lately and this article made me feel special. The author had said to my husband who he was sending pictures to that I was beautiful.
I remember saying: That's funny! to which my husband said: why?
I thought to myself, oh shit, why indeed? why do I find it funny that someone should think I'm beautiful.
Is it the years of abusive relationships? Me being fat? The fact I've felt weird/ugly/stupid for most of my life (apart from a brief time in my 20's).
And then I said, no I am passed all this. I am okay with myself in my 40's, I feel good 60% of the time, which is HUGE for me.
Then this Saturday, as me and Eric walked to a record store and a cute young 20 year old man smiled at me, and I-felt -crazy uncomfortable.
Why is he smiling ? What's wrong with me? Indeed, what THE-Fuck-is wrong with me?
All this work into self acceptance, and someone looks at me and BAM!I wish I could say I have a plan on how to stop it, I don't. I just try and be conscious of when I do it. It help that I have a great support team.
So to get back to my story, we arrive in Hudson and the lake, and it's gone. It seems the dam broke, and the city is broke, so the water emptied and the lake is gone. We stuck to our plan and took some shots next to the ''Lake'' .
I am wearing a vintage wool coat and beret.Top was bought at value village, skirt by Dorothy Perkins.
Stocking from Addition elle, boots are from Modcloth.
Bag is vintage.
When we got to the village we found out the antique store is being bulldozed to make condos.
Sad.
We had a wonderful day even if things we loved are gone. We found a new lake and walked in the forest.
So maybe that's my plan, acknowledge the sadness, then find a new lake or a $40 vintage 70's coat! woot!
Photos by Eric.Bergeron
